


Five Times Tony asked too much of Peter Parker

by falafelfiction, limeinthecoconut



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Missing Scene, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-10 05:00:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falafelfiction/pseuds/falafelfiction, https://archiveofourown.org/users/limeinthecoconut/pseuds/limeinthecoconut
Summary: ...and one time that Peter didn't ask enough of Mr Stark.Missing scenes from Civil War through to Endgame.





	1. "Okay Spider-Man. Get me out of this."

**Author's Note:**

> So I needed to get four chapters into this fic before it became clear to me what I'm writing about here. This is a progression piece about Tony making unreasonable demands of Peter, starting with Tony's original highly questionable decision to recruit a child to help him apprehend Team Cap. And for every time that Tony asks too much of the kid, the following chapter will show Tony facing the consequences when Peter has either failed or refused to follow his ill-considered orders. 
> 
> So that's my structure. And just so you know...this is a canon-compliant missing scenes fic. So if you've watched through to the Infinity saga you know where I'm headed with this. You have been warned. Hold onto your hearts!
> 
> Lastly, a note on Tony's characterization in this fic. Let it be known, I'm a huge fan of RDJ and how brazenly he exhibited Tony's flaws throughout his run in the MCU. The flawed hot mess side of Tony is what I'm focusing on here, so brace yourself for Tony being a jerk to poor Peter while still loving the kid deep down and being desperate to protect him.

“So what is this mission exactly?” the kid asked. “You know, in Berlin?”

Tony had returned to the one tiny uncomfortable chair in the corner of the bedroom where he was starting to feel a tad claustrophobic. He had wardrobes bigger than the Parker’s entire apartment. But it wasn’t the tight space so much as this conversation that was making him feel trapped.

How to explain the mission in such a way that would keep the Parker kid on his side? His new juvenile superhero friend had just demonstrated his staggeringly slick web-shooters and now he'd retreated to sit on the edge of his unmade bed again, his knees bouncing with anticipation.

"Well..." Tony began. "Well, what do you need to know? Cos we want to keep this thing pretty confidential."

“Um. I guess just...what is it you want me to _do_, Mr Stark?” he asked, his voice jittery.

Tony leaned forward, maintaining eye contact. He had the kid where he wanted him now. A little light blackmail had done the trick. The boy was desperate to keep his aunt from finding out about his vigilante antics. Tony had the leverage he needed to get Parker on his team and he needed to use it. He was devoting most of the 36 hour deadline Ross had given him to recruiting this kid. He couldn’t take no for an answer. Besides if Parker told him no now, he might continue to say no to him in the future. Then Tony would have another super-powered rebel on this hands.

“It’s nothing you won’t be able to handle,” Tony assured him. “I’m just going to need you to make best use of this stuff.”

He held up his hand which was still coated in white strings of webbing. The kid had cut him free from the door handle with a Stanley knife and then told him the rest of the sticky binding would dissolve within a few hours. Which would give Tony time to make a study of the extraordinary substance on his flight back to Berlin.

“I tell you...these webs have got to be the best non-lethal weapon I can bring to this fight,” Tony went on. “I’d be asking to buy the formula from you so I could shoot it from my own suits. But as it happens, I’m operating under some serious time constraints. Hence why I've got to bring you in as the expert to fire off the shots yourself.”

The kid just stared at him wide-eyed, a rabbit in headlights.

“There’s going to be a fight?” he practically squeaked.

Tony raised a calming hand, realizing he needed to choose his words carefully. “No, no. It’s not going to escalate to that. Because when I give the signal, you’re just going to swing on in there and tie up a few troublemakers before any punches are thrown.” He paused, then added. “But if punches _do_ get thrown…you can hold your own, right?”

“I…I guess,” the kid stammered out. “Only to be honest, sir…I don’t usually use my fists when I’m fighting bad guys. Because you see, the criminals I catch here in Queens…they’re just normal guys. I wouldn’t want to beat them up in case I, like...seriously hurt them. You know, because ever since I’ve had these powers I’ve been noticing, well…I break things a lot.” The kid swallowed. “I’m_ really_ strong now, sir. It’s kinda scary.”

Tony nodded, absorbing this information. To look at him, Peter Parker was the last person you’d suspect of being a mighty superhero. The kid was small in stature, too little to make the football team. He had a baby face that was going to see him getting carded until he was in his thirties. His clothing was cheap, careless and nondescript. He had no hairstyle to speak of. Tony could imagine the kid being pitifully insignificant among his peers. He had hacked into his Midtown High school records, of course. He’d learned that the kid’s GPA was startlingly high. But apart from his brains and his tech skills, nobody would guess there was anything remarkable about this boy.

Nobody besides Tony. Considering the things that this kid could secretly do, Tony was just glad that he'd gotten dibs on him. Yes, he would be keeping Mr Parker very firmly under his wing. Not even the few loyal Avengers left on his side would know the kid’s real name. Only Nat had the vaguest idea about their newest recruit.

Tony’s mind flashed back to their brief talk in Berlin, roughly ten hours ago.

“So you've seen this Spider guy on youtube, right?” Tony had said to Nat before playing her the video of the kid catching the speeding car. “He went viral a few months back. Recently I had F.R.I.D.A.Y. send a drone after him, tracking him back to his apartment...”

Nat had raised a critical eyebrow. “Already doing Ross’s dirty work for him, huh?”

“Hey, it was a good thing I found him first! Because this Spider guy? He’s a teenager, Romanov. He’s not even old enough to drive and he’s swinging around New York in goggles and a onesie fighting felons all by himself. I’m not just recruiting him, I’m rescuing this kid.”

Nat had just narrowed her stare, looking at Tony like he was crazy.

“So what’s the plan? We're going to strong-arm the kid into signing the accords and make him a tool of the government? A child soldier?”

Tony had taken a breath then, close to losing his temper.

“What I’m _not_ planning to do is leave a pubescent wall-crawling weapon without any adult supervision," he retorted. "I’m going to make sure that this kid has the monitoring and mentoring he needs so he’s not a danger to himself or others. And in that way we’re going avoid another Wanda incident where a well-meaning enhanced individual could wind up being the cause of civilian casualties and mass destruction. Does that sound like enough of a plan to you? Whose side are you on anyway?”

Nat hadn’t answered. She’d just told him to hurry up and take a plane since they were running out of time. And Tony could tell that she didn’t approve of him bringing a minor into their Avengers family feud. But then again, Nat had likely been younger than Parker when she was first trained up by the KGB and Tony could see from her hardened soldier looks that she knew they were short on options. 

“You won’t need to throw your fists,” Tony said to the kid sitting on the bed before him. “You’re going to keep your distance and not go in for any close combat, you hear me?” Tony squirmed a little in his puny plastic seat. “And even if we do come to blows, you’ll be safe.” He took a breath before adding, “I take it you’ve heard of Captain America?”

At the mere mention of this name, the kid’s face lit up, a delirious smile rising on his lips.

“I...I’m going on a mission with Captain America?!”

Tony winced, knowing now that he was dealing with a giddy fanboy who probably had a box of superhero action figures stashed under his bed. He might be pitting the kid against his childhood hero here. But young Mr Parker was a science whiz, right? If he was an Avengers nerd too, then surely Iron Man had to be his favorite? Yeah, Tony had better count on that. 

“Actually, kid…Cap’s the one who I'll be needing you to web up,” he confessed.

Parker’s smile fell. “You want me to fight Captain America?” he asked, his voice small and distraught.

“No. What did I just tell you? Try to pay attention.” He sighed. “Cap and I have just had a bit of a disagreement, that’s all. And it’s become necessary for me to apprehend him and a handful of his buddies before they attempt to flee from Germany. Does that make sense?”

The kid frowned. “What are you guys arguing about? I thought you were friends.”

“It’s complicated,” Tony said, trying to rush through this explanation fast as he could. “And when you come face to face with Cap, he’ll most likely try to lure you onto his side, telling you that you don’t understand what’s happening. But you should know that Cap’s not in his right mind at the moment. So I’ve got to trust that you’re not going to be swayed by anything he says...even if you're a fan.”

“Um, for sure," said the kid, blushing a little. "But Mr Stark, I really don’t understand what’s…”

“Look, all you really need to know is that Cap is in the wrong here. He’s _dead_ wrong. But he thinks he’s right and that makes him dangerous. But in spite of all that...we're still friends. I’m actually trying to _help him_ as a friend. Because if we don’t bring him in then other people will. People with weapons a little more harmful than your web-shooters, understand?”

The kid nodded, his jaw twitching with tension. He rose shakily to his feet.

“Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll come,” he resolved. “But I still don’t know how I’m supposed to take down Captain America, sir.”

“Steal his shield,” Tony suggested. “Then go for his legs.”

"Oh." The kid smirked and nodded to himself. "Thanks man. That's a neat idea."

Tony clapped him on the shoulder and forced a smile.

“You’ll do great. I wouldn’t have flown out here if I didn’t believe you could do this.”

The kid’s eyes got a little misty then. And Tony knew exactly what he was doing. He knew more about young Mr Parker from his personal records. Orphaned in his early childhood. His adoptive uncle shot dead just a few months back. Yes. He knew that the kid would be vulnerable to a show of fatherly affection. And the worst part was that Tony knew this because it was exactly what he had craved his entire life. His attempts at self-therapy really shouldn't involve exploiting similar traumas in others. Yet here he was...doing just that. 

“Listen kid, I’ll be going on ahead of you, alright?” he said, recoiling his hand. “You pack a suitcase and then sit tight. Wait for someone named Happy Hogan to call and collect you. And don’t worry. I’ll get the green light from your aunt. Even if I have to swallow down more date loaf to get her permission for our little field trip.”

He treated Parker to a cajoling wink. The kid just stood there nodding, looking completely overwhelmed. Tony took a last moment to size him up, measuring him in his mind. Approximately 5 foot 7, no more than 130 pounds, slim build, narrow waist…he was going to have to shrink that new Spider suit he'd started designing down some if it was going to fit him. And Tony was determined that this costume upgrade wasn’t going to look like another set of baggy pajamas on the boy. _Jesus_, the kid was so goddamn little.

“Right. So I’ll see you out there, sir?” said Parker.

“Yeah kid. See you there.”

With that, Tony slipped out the door and shut it behind him. 

He prayed he wasn’t walking away the latest big mistake of his life.


	2. "Stay down. You're going home."

The kid didn’t seem to get that they’d failed in their mission.

When they took the private jet together back to New York, Peter was still buzzing and babbling with excitement. Happy, having been the kid’s chaperone for the majority of the trip, had the sense to grab the seat furthest away from their teenage charge when boarding the plane. He had armed himself with an eye mask and earplugs to block out the kid's incessant noise for the entire flight. Tony meanwhile had been the last to embark and had discovered that Pete had carried his bag aboard and placed it very deliberately on the chair opposite him.

Tony had sank into that seat with trepidation and soon regretted indulging the kid as Pete proceeded to chatter endlessly about the airport altercation, describing it back to Tony in only the most obnoxious hyperbolic terms. He thanked Tony profusely for making him a part of _‘the most epic superhero throwdown of all time’_ adding that it was by far _‘the coolest and most badass thing that a kid could ever experience’_. Tony for his part managed a full fifteen minutes of polite nods and grimacing smiles before he realized that the kid just wasn’t going to quit yapping. Pete was about halfway through his third retelling of their _‘crazy awesome team up’_ to topple the giant when Tony had finally whipped off his glasses and hunched forward in his seat, knuckles clenching around his knees.

“Look kid, I’ve got the mother of all headaches coming on,” he began, irritation straining his voice. “Also, I have an anxiety condition and you’re sort of getting on my last nerve right now. So for the sake of my health and well-being, I’m going to have to ask you to zip it. Preferably for the remainder of the journey home. Can you do that for me?”

Pete’s cheeks flushed pink and his face fell into a kicked puppy expression. Tony felt instinctively that the kid must practice this wounded look in the mirror so that he could use it for maximum effect to get out of chores, homework or being deservedly grounded. The old Harley Keener_ ‘I’m cold’_ technique. It was manipulative. It was passive aggressive. It was…working, damn it.

“S-sure I can, Mr Stark,” Pete stammered, his gaze dropping to his lap. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“How’s your own skull doing this morning, by the way?” Tony cut in, not wanting to dismiss the boy completely out of hand. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. says that you’ve been sleeping off a mild concussion. Which, considering you were knocked out cold by a giant armor-plated hand, is getting off lightly...”

“Oh I’m fine, sir. Honest I am. I mean, it stings a little, but I think I heal a whole lot better than I used to. Really, I didn't have to stay down. I could’ve helped you go after Captain America. I…I’m real sorry that he got away, sir.”

Tony bit his tongue. He knew at this juncture he should reassure Pete that this failure to capture their prime target wasn’t his fault. He should tell the kid that he had more than exceeded Tony’s expectations. That he had shown himself to be so capable in combat that Tony had neglected to pull him back from the fight when he should have. Because Tony couldn’t just bench a star player when the game was on the line. But he should have. Not that Tony could bring himself to tell the kid any of these things. Instead he went with –

“You screwed up.” He shrugged, averting his eyes to stare out the window. “It’s understandable. Your first time at the rodeo and all that. But you might've lasted a little longer out there if you’d only listened to my very clear instructions.”

“W-what?” Pete flustered. “Sir, I just did what you told…”

Tony snapped his eyes back to glare at the boy. “I told you to keep your distance, did I not? And instead you decide to climb up an 80 foot Goliath and try to take him down.”

The irrepressible smirk crept back onto Pete’s lips.

“And…I did take him down,” he pointed out, pleased with himself.

“Yeah and you almost got your stupid little head taken off in the process,” Tony objected. “Do you realize that I could be bringing you back in a body bag right now? I could be fetching you home from your supposed internship with permanent brain damage or...or paralyzed for life.”

Tony faltered over these last words. He hadn’t told Pete about what had happened to Rhodey. He’d kept it a secret. More for his own sake than the kid's. Tony wasn’t ready to talk about it. He didn’t want to even accept what had happened to his friend. Following his fall, Rhodes had been taken on the first emergency jet out to Columbia University Medical Center where his injuries were still being accessed. But Tony already knew that he had sustained serious damage to his spine. Serious irreversible damage.

“If anyone gets hurt on my missions, that’s on me,” Tony said out loud. “You shouldn’t have been putting yourself in harm’s way. You were under orders not to.”

“But I’m fine, Mr Stark. I’ve said so hundred times already...”

“That's as maybe. Your right eye is looking a little swollen. Super healing or not, it’s likely to come out in a shiner. So how are you going to explain that to your aunt, huh? She’s going to think I wasn’t watching out for you. Now I’m never going to get to ask her out on a date.”

“I...I don't want you asking my aunt out,” Peter flustered, his cheeks turning pink. “And if I do get a black eye, well I...I’ll tell May that I got mugged on my way home. I'll make something up. And I’ll make it clear that you weren’t responsible in any way, sir…”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, you do that. You sit there quietly and you think very carefully about your cover story. Practice it in your mind. Work on your poker face. Because kid? You’re a horrible liar. You need to get better at it. _Fast_.”

Pete swallowed, his jaw tightening, tears of frustration threatening his eyes.

“You know, Mr Stark…I wouldn’t even have to lie to May if you hadn’t forced me to fly out to Berlin in the first place. I mean…it’s not like you gave me a choice or anything. And now you’re all mad at me, even though I was just trying my best to…”

Pete trailed off, unable to finish that sentence. Tony rolled his eyes, a hiss escaping through his teeth. _Great_, now the kid was standing up for himself. He was calling Tony out for basically kidnapping him for this botched mission. This was just what he needed.

“You know what, kid?” Tony said, pinching his temples. “I liked it better when you were star-struck and a little scared of me. Can we get back to that dynamic please?”

Pete didn’t answer. He just crossed his arms over his chest and glanced out the window, still looking like he was struggling not to cry. Tony sighed, slipping a hand into his pocket and producing a small bottle of painkillers.

“Hey, don’t get into a sulk now.” He rattled the pill bottle. “You want a couple of these? Prescription free? They really take the edge off the post-battle bruising I find...”

Pete shook his head, still staring out at the clouds. Tony knocked back a couple of the meds himself, wincing as he dry swallowed them. He had let off all his steam. He was done lashing out at the rookie. Now he just wanted to sit back and shut his eyes. But not before he’d made friends with the kid again.

“Listen Pete…” he said, using the boy’s actual name rather than the indifferent and somewhat belittling label of _kid_, “…I was just trying to give you a taste of what you’re in for, alright? So you’ve had a little fun playing with the big boys, but now you’ve got to go home to the real world. And you’re going to have to keep schtum. You realize that? You can’t tell anyone about what went down in Berlin and you can’t tell anyone what you are. Not your Aunt May. Not any little pals you might have at school. Nobody.” He paused, his heart hardening. “Believe me…I’ve learnt this week that you can’t trust even your closest friends.”

These words caught Pete’s attention. He turned to Tony with a look of compassion. He let his arms fall and leaned forward in his chair, his posture open and unguarded once more.

“But I…I trust you, sir,” he admitted, his eyes sweet and alarmingly sincere. “And yeah, I know I’ll have to keep this whole Spider-Man thing a secret from my family and friends. You don’t have to tell me. But I’m glad you found out, Mr Stark. It won’t be so hard now that I have someone who I can talk to about all this crazy superhero stuff.”

The kid’s smile made a shaky comeback. Tony did his best to return it. He never understood why kids liked and trusted him when he tended to be nothing but mean to them. And he did want Pete to like him, but already he had that sinking feeling in his gut. The same feeling he used to have after one night stands when an impressionable lovesick girl handed over her number, fully expecting that he was going to call her back. One of those poor girls who Tony never had to face again, because he’d simply ghost them until they gave up on his reply.

And it wasn’t that Tony didn’t have any future plans for Mr Parker. He had some pretty big plans for him in fact. Tony wasn’t getting any younger and he had the future of Stark Industries to consider. Pepper had been the only woman he could ever picture himself settling down with, but if it turned out that he’d screwed that up for good, then he’d be looking at bachelorhood till the end of his days and never having kids of his own. And while some would argue that Tony was too much of a man-child to be considering parenthood anyway, the fact remained that he had a legacy and he needed someone to hand it down to. So in some half-assed way, he supposed that he’d been seeking out an apprentice. A protégé if you will. Some promising youngster who he could trust to continue his life’s work and protect this lousy planet after he was gone.

Peter Parker was the best candidate he’d found. A kid with the potential to match him as a superhero and as a scientific genius. A kid who could be better than him in the long run. A better human being at least. Pete hadn’t been born with a deluxe high tech silver spoon in his mouth like Tony had. He was a regular working class kid from Queens. He’d learned his engineering skills fixing computers he’d fished out of the garbage. He’d learned to be a hero looking out for the little guy in his rough neighborhood. He didn’t come saddled with Tony’s privilege, nor his ego. The kid didn’t want anyone to know who he really was. He wasn't in it for the fame and glory. 

There was only one problem. He was a_ kid_. A kid who Tony could’ve gotten killed by rushing him into a combat situation he wasn’t ready for. A kid who could’ve become another Charlie Spencer on Tony’s conscience. And until Peter Parker stopped being that kid who would give Tony a heart attack every time he took a blow, Tony couldn’t get him involved in any further missions. And that could mean minimal contact for a long while. A lot of years between now and Pete's twenty-first birthday. Until then, it would be best to keep the kid at arm’s length. Keep an eye on him. Use the suit to monitor him and make sure he was safe. But for now, Tony would do well not to encourage the boy. He wouldn’t start playing mentor. Certainly not surrogate dad. Pete wasn’t ready. _Tony_ wasn’t ready.

“Well then,” Tony managed after an extended awkward silence. “That’s enough superhero bonding for today, don't you think? We’ve a long flight ahead of us, kid. So why don't you tilt your seat back and try to get some sleep. You must be tired. Happy tells me that he didn’t have much luck putting you to bed last night.”

“Hey, I’m not a toddler,” Pete objected. Then he gave into a yawn. “But yeah…I am pretty sleepy, now you mention it...”

With these blessed words, his shoulders slumped and he finally lay back, letting his eyes fall closed.

“Night, Mr Stark,” he murmured, despite it being broad daylight outside. "And thanks again...for everything."

“Don't mention it, kid,” Tony returned, knowing that he wouldn’t be sleeping a wink.


	3. "Look at me. Last chance, yes or no?"

Tony supposed he had the kid to thank for his abrupt yet welcome betrothal.

When he’d fallen to one knee in front of Pepper at the press conference, the room full of reporters had gone wild, cameras flashing like a fireworks display. News that the infamous billionaire playboy was finally getting hitched was soon trending worldwide. The best part was that Pepper hadn’t even thrown the ring back in his face the moment they’d stepped off stage. Despite his proposal being a last-minute substitute for the unveiling of Spider-Man it turned out Pepper was relieved that _something_ had at last pushed Tony to pop the question.

That evening they had settled down with a bottle of champagne before a roaring fire. But they had barely raised their first toast when Happy had burst in, pale and sweaty, holding out his cell phone. A woman’s voice was screaming obscenities from its speaker.

“_May knows,_” Happy had rasped. “I don’t know how, but she _knows_!”

Tony had tentatively taken the phone from Happy like it was an explosive device. He'd quickly learned that the kid had gotten careless when he found Tony had returned his suit. Pete had been strutting around his bedroom with the door wide open and his aunt had walked in to see him dressed in full superhero regalia. So consequently Tony had to endure a two hour call filled with angry accusations of child endangerment and the deception of May as said child's guardian. In the end, Pepper had taken the phone out of Tony’s hand and somehow smoothed things over by inviting May to their (as yet unplanned) engagement party which she'd promised would include an all vegan buffet and a Salvation Army fundraiser.

“You’ll be better off talking to her in person,” Pepper reasoned after they had hung up. “And Tony...when you do speak to May, no arguing. Just give her whatever support she needs. The woman’s just found out she’s raising a teenage superhuman.”

Tony cursed. “Why couldn't the kid have put a damn lock on his door?”

Pepper had resoundingly ignored his pouting. And come the night of the party, Tony stood bracing himself for a punch in the mouth as Happy chauffeured the Parkers up to his building and then led them into the lobby. May looked ravishing in a purple velvet dress, but the face she greeted Tony with was steely and all business. Pete meanwhile looked as he always did when arriving at the Avengers compound – like little orphan Annie on her first day at the Warbucks mansion, all wide eyes and dazzled smiles.

“Mr Stark!” Pete began. “Congratulations on you and Miss Potts getting…”

Tony brushed aside the kid’s habitual pleasantries, gesturing for him to keep on walking.

“Happy...why don’t you escort the kid upstairs, get him an age-appropriate beverage and start introducing him to people? I’ve got a lot of science professors up there eager to meet my inaugural Stark Industries intern.” Tony lowered his voice and added. “In fact most of them are wanting to know when their own students can start applying for next year’s scholarship so…it looks like the September Foundation is becoming a real thing.”

“They do say that lying gets expensive,” May remarked.

Tony forced a smile. “Mrs Parker…shall we?”

Tony caught Pete glancing nervously over his shoulder as Happy steered him towards the main party area while Tony ushered May towards the nearest conference room.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” May began, the second Tony closed the door on them, not giving him the chance to speak first. “After some very long talks with my nephew, we’ve agreed that he’s going to focus on finishing school and, in his free time, he’ll be allowed to continue with this…this secret Spider-Man stuff he’s been doing. In a purely neighborhood watch capacity, that is. No more climbing up monuments, no more tying together ferries or pulling invisible jets down from the sky.”

“Okay...” Tony agreed. “That all sounds good to me so far.”

May remained unsmiling. “I’m still not sure that _any_ of this is good for Peter, Mr Stark. We live in a rough borough. What with the police cuts earlier this year, I know a lot of people in Queens have been thankful that we have our own friendly local superhero. So I’m not going to stand in the way of a good kid wanting to help out his community...” She raised her shoulders in a shrug. “I guess it’s comforting to know my nephew can handle himself in a fight. Even if I’m not so thrilled that he goes out every night _looking_ for fights.”

Tony held up his hands. “Listen, if the kid were ever in real danger…”

“You put a tracker in his suit,” she interjected. “Yes, I know…Peter told me.”

“…so you know I can send a whole squadron of iron suits to rescue him within...”

“So God forbid you ever confiscate his suit and leave him to single-handily recover a stolen plane full of Stark tech wearing a_ fucking sweatshirt_!” May snapped, her eyes sharp as daggers.

Tony swallowed. “Yeah. My bad. That won’t happen again.”

“Oh, it better not," she said, taking a somewhat intimidating step closer. "One last thing, Mr Stark...simply spying on my nephew as safety precaution is not going to cut it anymore. You need to be in his life. I'm talking regular phone calls and text messages from now on. And I'm expecting personal visits at least once a fortnight."

He blinked, affronted. "I'm sorry, when did I become a divorced dad here? We didn't even get to enjoy the honeymoon period." 

May ignored Tony's lame attempt at being cute. "Mr Stark...Peter needs somebody who he can talk to about these powers of his. Someone who understands what he’s going through. And even if you're far from the ideal choice...that person has to be you. So don’t you dare ghost my kid's calls again.”

May didn’t wait for Tony’s response to these final terms, just brushed past him heading for the door. She seemed aware that between her smoking hot outfit and her domineering manner that he would be left powerless to resist her demands. So he left the conference room, defeated and mildly aroused, and then headed up to the party. Tony's head was spinning over his unexpected new responsibilities. So May wanted him to visit the kid every other weekend now? Had Mrs Parker really just roped him into a shared custody arrangement? He wandered in a daze through the sea of wealthy half-acquaintances filling the largest function room of the Avengers facility. He briefly ran into Pepper who kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear that Peter was _“just adorable”_ before rushing off to mingle with their extravagance of party guests.

Tony eventually found the adorable Mr Parker standing at the far side of the buffet table, nibbling a small handful of pretzels. The kid was looking squirrelly and lost. Not surprising really. They had neglected to invite anyone to the party who was even remotely in Pete’s age bracket. When Tony approached he had to resist the urge to reach out and straighten the kid’s clumsily knotted tie. He was not adopting this child. He was _not_.

“So I survived your aunt…” said Tony, rounding the table. “How are you holding up? Did she freak out on you too?”

“Yeah, yeah...she was pretty mad at me,” said Pete. “Until she figured out that you must’ve known all along. Then she was way more mad at you. Sorry if she gave you an earful, sir.”

Tony shrugged. “No worries. I guess I had it coming.”

“Anyway, she calmed down when I told her all that stuff about how I want to stay close to the ground…like, at least until I graduate.”

“Right." Tony winked at him. "It’s a good thing you passed my test then.”

“Yeah.” Pete’s smile faltered on his lips. “About that test, Mr Stark…”

“What about it?” Tony asked, already fearing where this might be headed.

“It’s just funny how you pretended that there were a bunch of reporters waiting for me behind the door…then just a few minutes later you actually _did_ hold a press conference to ask Miss Potts to marry you.”

“Well, what can I say?” Tony answered flippantly. “I’m an attention seeker. Always have been. And I can have the world’s media assembled at my house in less than a heartbeat.”

Tony held the kid’s stare, willing him to drop the issue. But Pete refused to take the hint.

“You…you really were going to make me an Avenger, weren’t you sir?”

“_Keep it down_,” Tony hissed, glancing around to make sure nobody was in earshot. “You’re meant to be my intern, remember?” He sighed and snatched a champagne flute from a nearby tray, draining it in a single mouthful. “Okay. Okay _yes_…I really was going to make you an Avenger. But it’s not like you left me much choice, kid.”

“What are you talking about?” Pete asked, blinking.

“What am I talking about?” said Tony, snatching a second and third glass from the tray, holding one in each hand, alternately gulping from both. “I am talking about the world’s richest and most famous superhero getting robbed by some pissed off handyman with jerry-built bird wings. I’m talking about the most elite team of enhanced warriors on the planet needing to have their weapons recovered for them by a small-time street-level freelancer. How do you think that makes me look? It looks like I've lost all control. It’s an embarrassment, is what it is! As if the Avengers haven’t had enough bad press to deal with these last few months.”

Tony took a breath, setting the empty champagne glasses down and then just reaching for an open bottle.

Pete just frowned at him. “So wait…you were only going to make me an Avenger so it would look like you gave me the mission to take down the Vulture? So that nobody would think I acted by myself?”

“Basically _yeah_,” Tony said, still swigging. “And hey, don’t talk like I’m trying to steal your thunder here, boy wonder. It’s in your best interest not to be perceived as a rogue vigilante right now. Just ask Cap and his buddies how playing superhero outside the government’s jurisdiction is working out for them. Do you know how much damage control I’ve had to run with Thaddeus Ross over that plane you brought down on the beach? If I hadn't vouched for you, he might have put you in the Raft.”

Pete’s eyebrows shot up. “In the what?”

“Never mind.” Tony hoisted the champagne. “You want some, kid?”

He shook his head. “I’m not old enough. And I think you might be drinking too much of it, too fast...”

Pete teased the bottle out of his grasp, returning it to the table. Tony snorted a laugh. Why was this kid was such an incessant goody two shoes in all matters besides those involving reckless self-endangering heroics? Why couldn’t he just rebel like a normal teenager for once?

“Listen kid...” Tony said. “Do me a favor, alright? Try and forget that I wanted make you an Avenger just so I could avoid some bad press, okay? I shouldn’t have done that. And you did the right thing in turning me down. I was proud of you for that. Plus...I’d like it to be this nice touching moment on the day when you _are_ ready and I can ask you to join us again. But until that day comes I…I need you to promise me something.”

“Promise what, Mr Stark?” asked Pete, trepidation in his tone.

Tony grimaced, struggling with how to phrase this. “Don’t try so hard to…to _help me_.”

“What?” Pete spluttered. “What are you saying? You’re talking like you didn’t even want me to stop the Vulture from stealing those weapons.”

“No, no...that’s not what I’m saying. That was a good deed, right there. Those weapons could’ve ended up in the hands of a psychopath who would have used them to hold the whole world to ransom. You did the right thing making sure that didn't happen. No, what I’m saying here Pete is…don’t make it your job to look out for me, alright?”

“But…but how is that fair? So you can track my suit, monitor my every move and save me when I’m in trouble, but I’m not allowed to help you out in return?”

“Kid, I just…” Tony clenched his teeth, wondering how he could make Pete understand. “I just need to know that if I send you home…you’ll _go home_.”

Pete fell silent and gave Tony a small mute nod. It wasn’t any form of verbal confirmation, but he could see that it was the best he was going to get out of the kid. Tony’s eyes strayed across the room to where he could see Pete’s aunt talking rather flirtatiously with Happy Hogan. It looked like his driver was doing a better job at charming Mrs Parker than he ever had. And it was only then that Tony recalled the instructions that May had left him with.

He straightened up, shifting closer to Pete and clapping a hand to his shoulder.

“So anyway I…I’m going to be in the city next weekend,” said Tony, struggling to keep his tone casual. “What do you say we…hang out? Maybe get a bite to eat? Or catch a movie? I don’t know…go to the zoo?”

The kid just squinted at him. “You want to hang out…with _me_?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Tony said, trying to act like Pete was the one who had raised the suggestion in the first place. “It’s no big deal. Superheroes can hang out together. We have downtime. Hey, have you ever tried Shawarma?”

“Um...no sir, I don’t even know what that is.”

Tony's smile lengthened. “Well then. Lunch is on me.”


	4. "You're an Avenger now."

“Hey kid…_kid_, where you going? Get back here!”

The dust had just about settled on their crash landing followed by their immediate set to and standoff with Quill’s motley crew. Now after only the briefest exchange of backstories, the wizard and the space pirates were venturing out of the flying donut wreckage to explore the surface of this barren wasteland they were now marooned on. And the kid was just tagging along after them like a puppy at a family picnic.

“Yeah Mr Stark?” Pete asked, turning back to face him. "What's up?"

“Nothing, it's just..._come here_ a minute. We need to talk.”

“Oh sure thing,” said Pete. He gave a little wave to the bug lady and the sentient cloak who he’d been walking with before hurrying back to Tony’s side. “Sorry, I just…got excited. I’ve never been on another planet before. Today is just turning out _crazy_. So...what did you want to talk about?”

Tony caught hold of Pete’s upper arm, tugging him close.

“You stick by me, understand? Those people out there...they’re not your buddies. Don’t be so eager to make friends. We can’t trust them.”

Pete squinted at him. “Mr Stark…it’s cool. _They’re_ cool. They’re on our side.”

“On our side? Kid, let me clue you in.” Tony looked over Pete’s shoulder to check that their new companions had exited what remained of the ship. Then he let loose. “When we were talking earlier, Dr Hufflepuff Houdini made me a solemn vow that he’d happily let us both die before he gives up that necklace. And in case you’ve already forgotten…Captain Berk Rogers from Planet Missouri was just holding a laser gun to your head and threatening to fry you alive. So let’s not rush into holding hands with these maniacs, alright?”

Tony stopped ranting to take a breath and found his lungs were very short on air. This could be down to the change in atmosphere, of course. But when it came to the sudden heart palpitations, the cold sweat breaking out on his brow and the tingling numbness in his fingertips, Tony knew that his symptoms were pointing to something else. This was the real reason he needed a minute alone with Peter in the space ship. He needed the kid to talk him down from a full-blown panic attack.

“I just thought it'd be easier if we got along,” Pete reasoned. “Since we’ve got to team up to fight Thanos and everything.”

Tony clutched at the arc reactor in his chest, feeling like it might just explode. He knew that Pete was talking sense but he still hadn’t recovered from the sight of the kid being used as a human shield and the feeling of helplessness it'd brought out in him.

“Pete…why is it you always get to be the cute friendly one while I have to be the belligerent asshole?”

The kid shrugged and smiled. “Just playing to our strengths I guess…”

Tony closed his eyes, nodding and squeezing Pete’s arm. He would let that one slide. He liked that the kid gave him sass these days. This was all part of the comfortable snarky shorthand they had cultivated over Tony’s regular weekend visits. Spending quality mentoring time with Peter had started out as an obligation but it had slowly become something that Tony secretly looked forward to.

During the last year, he had taken Pete out for many lunches, introducing him to a variety of world cuisine to change up his lazy teen diet of sub sandwiches and pizza slices. They had watched some ‘_really old movies_’ as Pete liked to refer to the cult classics of the 1980s. Tony had allowed Pete to have the run of his lab to perfect his web fluid and work on projects for his school science fair. He’d invited Pete to use his personal gym too, even built him a fully automated soft suit that he could use as a sparring partner in the ring. Tony kept telling the kid they were going to make a killing some day when they entered him into a flyweight championship, something that Pete was too fair-minded to ever contemplate.

“…Mr Stark?” said Pete in the here and now, because even after all those lunches and long Sunday afternoons in the lab, the kid still couldn’t get into the habit of calling him_ Tony_. “Are you okay? Is this, like…is it your anxiety condition, sir?”

“No, no…it's not that. You see PTSD tends to consist of irrational episodes where you relive previous ordeals. And what I’m experiencing right now is my actual worst nightmare becoming a reality. Thanos is coming, aliens are invading, the Avengers are broken up, there's no shield around the world…” Tony glanced at the kid. “...plus _you're_ here with me. In space for Christsakes.”

Pete winced. “Look, I know you wanted me to go home, but I…”

“Yeah, see here’s the thing,” Tony said, interrupting him. “Part of me wants to tell you to stay on this ship and find some really secure cargo box and just…_hide_ in it. Just keep yourself out of sight when the big evil purple alien comes for his time stone.” Tony took another long wheezing breath. “But the fact of the matter is...this Thanos guy beat down our Hulk. I’m picking the fight of my life on this planet. And I don’t like the idea of going into it with only that uppity wizard and those cosmic Loony Toons as my back up. But you, Pete? You...you really kick ass in a fight. I mean it…you're A List material. Up there with the best of them. I’ve always thought so.”

The kid clenched his jaw, his chest swelling at the compliment.

“You know I was never going to let you fight Thanos alone, right sir?”

“Yeah...I know," he said with a feeling of pained gratitude. "It’s not like I’ve ever had much luck stopping you from doing anything that you set your mind to.” Tony let out a sigh, hating that it had come to this. “It's not right. You should be in school, damn it. But it turns out I really need you here. The odds are stacked against us, kid. And we can’t lose this one...we can't.”

“We won’t,” Pete insisted. “At least, I’ll try my best to…”

“Pepper’s having my baby,” Tony blurted, the words tumbling out.

Pete blinked at him, startled. “She…she’s what?”

“Well actually, I...I don’t know that for certain. I mean, she hasn’t told me yet. I tried to coax it out of her when we were walking in the park this morning. It’s just that yesterday…I found this pregnancy test when I was rummaging around in her underwear drawer.”

Pete raised an eyebrow. “Why were you looking in Miss Potts' underwear drawer?”

“Because Pete, that’s a thing us adult males get an urge to do sometimes. Maybe when you finally hit puberty you’ll understand." There we go, a little gallows humor. That was what Tony needed right now. "But my point is…”

“…you’re going to be a dad,” Pete finished, beaming at him. “Wow sir, that’s really…”

“It’s terrible, that’s what it is.” Tony clenched his fists in frustration, shaking his head. “I…I could hear it in Pepper’s voice, you know? Just before we lost contact. It wasn’t just that she was scared that she would never see me again. She was scared that I…that _our child_ would never know their father.” He blinked fast, tears threatening in his eyes. “So that’s why I have to fight Thanos out here in space. I can’t let him get to Earth. I can’t let him get anywhere near my family, Pete. I have to fight him here….and I have to stop him.”

“And you will,” Pete said softly. “I mean, _we_ will. We’ll win, Mr Stark.”

Tony’s hand moved from Pete’s forearm to cup around the back of his neck. He wanted so desperately to pull the kid into a hug. But he knew if he did, he’d only break down and lose his nerve. Besides, somehow Tony still hadn’t got around to hugging Pete yet. Firm handshakes, pats on the back, arms around shoulders - even a hair ruffle one time. He’d gotten to be pretty affectionate with the kid, but he still wasn’t quite _there_ yet. They hadn’t hugged. If he got out of this alive, that needed to go to the top of Tony's To Do list.

“Kid…can you do me a big favor?” Tony began, haltingly.

“Sure Mr Stark. Anything,” said Pete. "What can I do?"

“Don’t die, okay? I mean, seriously…just..._don't_. It would really…”

“I know. You don’t need that on your conscience.”

Tony opened his mouth, wanting to correct the kid. He wanted Pete to know that this wasn’t just about selfish emotionally stunted Tony Stark wanting to spare himself from a guilt trip. This was about how Tony couldn’t stand the thought of losing Peter any more than he could bear the thought of never living to see his unborn child. It was about how Pete was way too young and he needed his own chance. It was about how his Aunt May needed him and Queens needed him and how Tony felt sure that someday the whole world would come to need Spider-Man.

But once again, all these words stuck in Tony’s throat and he couldn’t let them spill out.

If he tried to say these things now, he’d fall apart and be in no state to win this impossible fight.

“Good, that’s settled,” Tony said, forcing a jovial tone. “No dying and maybe I’ll let you help choose the baby’s name."

“Cool!” said Pete, playing along. "Maybe we could make a list on the trip home?”

“You bet." He straightened, releasing Pete's arm at last. "First let’s go kick some alien ass...”


	5. "I lost the kid."

“F.R.I.D.A.Y…program the setting as Titan, April 26th, 2018...the focus being my last memory of Peter Parker...”

Tony took a breath, shutting his eyes tight. He waited for his AI to render the holographic projection around him. On reflection, Tony felt he had chosen exactly the right acronym for his B.A.R.F. tech. Every time he used the damn thing it made him want to puke.

He really didn’t want to do this. But Pepper had insisted that it was time. Actually it was a long time overdue. Nine months now since he had lost the kid. Since they had lost half of everyone. Lost fifty percent of all life in the universe. _Gone, gone, gone_. But Pete was the one loss that felt bigger than all the rest, the one that Tony couldn’t move past, even as the emptied Earth slowly and sadly kept on turning.

Pepper had pointed out that this was just the type of trauma that Tony had appropriated the B.A.R.F. tech to resolve. But he still wasn’t sure that this retro-framing unit was really the best form of therapy. His prototype still hadn’t been approved by his team of research psychologists, some of whom were of the opinion that such perfectly rendered projections of lost loved ones were more likely to compound the grieving process rather than bring about closure. It didn’t help that the man who had invented this device had to be let go from Stark Industries due to mental health concerns. What was that guy’s name again? Black something or other. Yes, Quintin Black that was it. Tony had only met the guy once but he could tell just from the bulge of his eyes that he was one small push away from going postal. Additional psychiatric evaluations they'd run on him had confirmed he was too risky to keep around. So Tony had taken his tech and let him go.

Still, Tony couldn’t deny that Black's immersive holographic memory theater was really quite something. As he let his eyelids flutter open, he saw Titan being rendered all around him in lucid 4D visuals. And it wasn’t just the ruined desert landscape that had been pulled so vividly from Tony’s hippocampus. He could hear the rushing winds and rumbling thunder in his ears. He could feel the loosening of the gravitational field. He could smell the air of the alien planet. He could taste it in his mouth. A taste like...dust.

And then he heard it. He heard the voice behind him.

“Mr Stark…I don’t feel so good…”

Tony turned around, dread seizing his heart as he took in the scene.

Sure enough, there stood the kid, his face turning rapidly pale and his eyes wide with fear and confusion. Tony felt a shudder pass through him. It'd been a long time since he had even brought himself to look at Peter. When they had first moved out to the cabin by the lake, Pepper had included several framed photos of Tony and his young friend in her decorating of their new home. And Tony had hidden every single one of those photos away from sight. Because the truth was that he just couldn't bear to look. 

“You’re alright…” said a second voice nearby.

Tony turned to his right to see another Tony Stark from nine months back. And the moment he looked at this former self, Tony willed him to move. This time he wouldn’t stand still, waiting for Pete to stagger forwards and collapse into his arms. No, this time past-Tony rushed towards the kid, wrapping an arm around his back and gently lowering him to the ground.

“I…I don’t know what’s happening…” Pete stammered, a childlike whimper in his voice.

“It’s okay, I got you…” said past-Tony to the boy cradled in his arms. “Deep breaths, kid. This is just a little dizzy spell, that’s all.”

“Woah, really? That’s a relief…” Pete sighed. “For a moment there I thought I was…”

"Don't say it," Tony interrupted him. "Just focus on your breathing, alright?" 

Pete nodded, then reached up and hugged himself closer to Tony’s chest. Tony watched his past self hugging back. And he knew this wasn’t really Peter Parker. This was just his mind’s projection of Pete, a stunningly lifelike software ghost of Pete. Any words being spoken now by Tony’s past self or the kid in his arms were just being teased from his own subconscious.

In this memory realm it was just the two of them alone. They had the time and space they needed. Strange and Quill’s crew were already dust. Nebula was nowhere in sight. Using the retro-framing tech, Tony could single out the part of the memory that mattered to him and stretch its length for as long as it took to process the pain it’d caused. Time to make small-talk before any big declarations.

“Well, you’ve not got a fever,” said Tony, pressing a hand to Pete’s brow. “It could be low blood sugar. Did you skip breakfast this morning, kid?”

“I…I was running late for my bus," he answered sheepishly. "I didn’t want to miss it again.”

“Pete, we’ve talked about this,” he chided. “It’s the most important meal of the day. You shouldn't be clinging to the side of space ships on an empty stomach. I don’t care how much super strength you have, you’re still a growing boy who needs to get the right amount of daily nutrients. Didn’t I tell you that you should at least pack a protein shake in your lunch box the night before?”

“I know, I know…sorry, Mr Stark," he said, still sounding faint. "I guess I just forgot.”

“You forgot because you’re not getting enough sleep, mister. You’re exhausting yourself by running around every night catching cat buglers and carjackers in your neighborhood. And you’re doing a good job, kid, but you really need to focus on yourself a little more. You’ve got your senior year coming up, remember?”

“Yeah and then _college,_” Pete gasped out. “You know, Mr Stark, I’ve been looking for a part-time job to help save up for tuition fees. But between school and being Spider-Man and helping May out with her charity events, I don’t know how I’m going to find the time to…”

“Hey Pete, come on. You know that I can put you through college if needs be,” Tony reassured him. “And so you know, I won’t even need to do that. Because as long as you keep your grades up you’re sure to be first in line for a scholarship at MIT. I guarantee it.”

The kid offered him a weak smile. “Sir, that’s…that’s really nice of you to say so. But you know that I…I won’t be going to college. Not ever...” He swallowed, holding Tony’s stare and dropping their shared charade. “We both know what happens here, Mr Stark...”

Tony’s heart sank, his blood running cold. Yes, he knew. This therapy unit would only allow him to work through his trauma and come to terms with his grief. It gave Tony the chance to say the things he wished that he’d said to the people who he could no longer tell.

But he couldn’t use his tech to change a damn thing.

“At least not until I invent time travel…” Tony said out loud.

Pete’s eyes widened. “You’re trying to invent time travel? Wow, that's awesome, dude.”

“I’ve been batting around a few ideas,” said Tony. “But I’m almost certain it’s impossible. So don’t get your hopes up. I know I’m not.”

“Oh sure. No worries. I guess that you’ve been busy with other things...” Pete raised himself up on his elbows. “So how...how have you been, Mr Stark? It's been a while. How was your wedding? I’m real sorry that I missed it.”

“You didn’t miss much.” Tony sighed. “It was…quiet. It was a quiet solemn affair. Like most things in the universe since Thanos did what he did. We decided that a small private ceremony would be best. No press, no investors…just a short guest list of close friends. In the end it was just Happy, Rhodey, Bruce, that Wong guy…oh and the talking Raccoon showed up for some reason. I think he must’ve stolen the invite that I sent to the Blue Meanie. I should’ve known that she wouldn’t have been one for any sort of social occasion.”

“Was that all?” asked Pete. “What about the other Avengers?”

Tony winced. “Nat turned up late...about halfway through the reception, looking tired and disheveled. She told me that Steve sent his best wishes but he didn’t think that I’d want him to be there so…so he’s still an idiot.” He shook his head. “We didn’t even hear from Thor or Clint. Nobody’s seen them for months. So what with all the empty chairs in the chapel, I’d be hard pressed to call it the happiest day of my life. But we got through it. We had to. I mean...if we’d put it off any longer then that vintage wedding dress wouldn’t have fit over Pepper's baby bump…”

“So you were right?” said Pete, smiling. “She’s having your…”

“Yeah, that’s what’s happening,” Tony cut in, his throat constricting. “In fact, Pepper is coming up to her due date this week. Any day now she's going to pop and we’re going to have a newborn child. A daughter, a little girl. And that…that’s kind of why I’m here, Pete.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I…I’ve got to be a father now,” he said haltingly. “This is my second chance and I can’t screw it up. And Pepper keeps telling me that I won’t be able to be a good parent until I’ve come to terms with what happened to you." He squirmed a little then added. "We were talking about having a memorial service for you. Maybe, I don't know...float a wreath of red and blue flowers out over the lake.”

“Oh, that sounds nice,” Pete said appreciatively. “But it’s been nine months, sir...isn’t it a little late for a funeral?”

“Yeah, it really is. But you see, that’s just how long I’ve been stuck in the early stages of Külber Ross, refusing to accept that you're gone. A memorial seemed like the thing to do. But then, well…we lost your Aunt May in the snap too. So she can't be there. Then I had Happy reach out to some kids at your school. He tells me you didn’t have too many friends...just that Ned character, your guy in the chair, and this girl, MJ who Happy says was your latest crush. So I would've invited them along, but well…it turns out they’re both dust too.”

Pete fidgeted in his arms. “It’s fine, sir. Honestly. You don’t need to do anything special for…”

“I need to do _something_,” Tony stressed. “I have to because very soon I’ll be doing the dad thing. I'm going to be kept up every night by a crying child. And the trouble is…I’ve already got a kid that’s keeping me awake at night. A kid that's still here...in my arms...begging me to save him.” He swallowed and pulled the boy closer, his fingers reaching up to stroke his hair. “Every time I dream I end up back here, Pete. And every time you’re pleading that you don’t want to go. And I…I _need_ to let you go, kid. I have to let you go...”

The Tony who stood watching the projections knew he could never say these words aloud. He knew that he'd always asked too much of young Peter Parker in life and now the boy was gone, here he was making unreasonable demands of Peter in death. Because it turned out Tony was incapable of being a good mourner. He couldn’t promise Pete that he would always be in his heart. That he’d live on in his memories. That he would do his best to keep his spirit alive. Tony couldn't say any of the things you were supposed to say.

He was never going to be able to make peace with what'd happened. He just needed to forget.

He needed the dying boy and this memory to just...disappear.

“It’s okay, sir,” said Pete, polite as ever. “You know...it was never really your fault.”

Tony shook his head. “Kid, don’t let me off the hook so…”

“There was no way that you could’ve saved me,” Pete insisted. “Even if we had never met and you hadn’t taken me to Berlin. Even if I had never been bitten by that spider and hadn't had my superpowers. I could’ve just been an ordinary kid from Queens having a regular day at school. And I still would’ve turned to dust when Thanos snapped his fingers. Just like the trillions of other kids who Thanos killed that day.”

“But you were the kid who I was supposed to protect,” Tony seethed, immune to reason. “You were the kid I was responsible for…”

“…Mr Stark, I keep telling you, you weren’t…”

“…you were the kid that I _loved_.”

Tony fell silent, choked up and breathless.

Pete stared back at him, eyes glassy, his expression unreadable.

“You…you knew that, didn’t you Pete?” Tony asked tentatively, fearing the answer. “I know that I never got around to telling you. Like my father before me, I’ve always been kind of a chicken when it comes to expressing my emotions. But you…you knew, right?”

“What do you think?” asked Pete.

Tony's heart clenched. “I’m sorry, kid.”

Sorry didn’t cut it, but it was the only thing that he had to offer.

The best he could make of this memory was to change which one of them made the final apology.

And then it happened. It happened just the way that it'd done before and the way it happened again and again in Tony’s terrible dreams. Pete looked away from him, his eyes turning up for a last look at the sky. Then his face and body broke into a thousand grey fragments and they all slipped away through Tony’s fingers, just as he was reaching out to hold on.


	6. "I woke up and you were gone."

“Hey kid!” said a voice. “_Get up._ We have work to do.”

Peter lay on his back, blinking up at the sky.

He couldn’t bring himself to move just yet. He felt so weirdly weak. Like he used to feel before the spider bite. Then Peter felt his body powering up, his senses going into overload and the world rushing at him all loud and bright. It felt even more intense than that first morning when he’d woken up with his powers, his muscles throbbing, his skin tingling and his heart racing in fear over what he had become.

Peter drew a deep breath into his lungs and took in his surroundings. He had the feeling that these churning orange clouds that hung over him were not Earth clouds, but it took him a moment to remember why. Slowly it all flashed back through his mind. Battling monsters in the Washington Square park, getting beamed up by an alien space ship, being made an Avenger and fighting Thanos and…_losing_.

And then he had…had he fainted? Peter couldn’t think why else he’d be lying on the ground. Jeez, that was embarrassing. He hadn’t fainted since he was twelve and he had to go to the school nurse for that vaccination shot. And even though Thanos was a whole lot scarier than his phobia of needles, Peter still felt mad at himself for passing out. He hoped Mr Stark wouldn’t think less of him.

And where…where was Mr Stark anyways?

“Will someone please get that spider kid up off the ground?”

Well, Peter knew that voice at least. It was Dr Strange’s voice, sounding pissed at him. And following its demand, Peter felt two strong hands reaching under his arms and hoisting him onto his feet. He turned and flinched to see a very large bald greyish alien looming over him. He calmed down as he realized this was one of the aliens from the crew of that Footloose guy. Peter still couldn’t remember any of their names. The big bald alien dude didn’t say hello, just shoved Peter towards the rest of the group. And there was Dr Strange, standing on a boulder with his magic cloak swirling around him. He looked like he was giving some sort of briefing.

“As I was saying…” the wizard continued after an impatient glare at Peter. “It’s been five years. And we’ve been brought back only minutes before Thanos’s past self has traveled from Morgag to mount a massive assault on the Avengers compound. He's coming for that gauntlet. So they’re going to need help to ensure he doesn’t reclaim the stones. They need _us_.”

Peter could barely take in anything that Dr Strange was saying. His mind registered_ ‘five years’_ and _‘they need us’_ and not a whole lot else. Peter was getting way too distracted looking around the circle of his companions and noticing who was missing.

“Excuse me? Mr Strange?” he said, raising his hand.

“_Doctor_ Strange,” the wizard corrected. “What?”

“Sorry Dr Strange, pardon me sir, but…do you know where Mr Stark went? And apologies for having fainted and everything, but please could…could someone catch me up on what the hell is happening right now?”

“Can you fight?” Dr Strange asked, his tone cool and dispassionate.

“What?” Peter flustered. “I mean, yeah...I guess…”

“Good. Get ready to fight. Comprehensive explanations regarding what the hell is happening can wait until afterwards.” He paused for a beat, then muttered – “At least they can so long as Stark comes through for us.”

Peter frowned. “What do you mean? What’s Mr Stark going to do?”

Dr Strange shook his head, ignoring Peter’s questions. He turned his back on them, raised his arms and began making one of those yellow sparkly circles with his powers. He stepped through the portal, saying over his shoulder that he needed to contact his fellow mystics and that he would be back very shortly. So Peter was just left standing there with the big grey alien, the bug lady and the man from Earth who still seemed real angry over that Gamora girl. Judging from their blank eyes and creased brows they were just as confused as Peter was. So instead of bothering anyone else with questions, Peter took a moment to just try figuring things out for himself.

The last thing he could remember was everybody arguing about how Dr Strange had given the time stone to Thanos in exchange for him sparing Mr Stark’s life. And that was weird because Mr Stark had told Peter that the wizard was fine with letting them both die. And then everyone - aside from Peter - was just yelling at Strange that he had made the wrong call and how it could lead to half the universe being wiped out. And Peter could remember Dr Strange saying that _"It was the only way"_ and then…and then…

Holy shit...had Dr Strange turned into a big cloud of dust?!

No, that was impossible. Peter must've dreamed that part after he passed out. Come to think of it, he could remember the Footloose guy and his alien friends turning into dust too. Peter even remembered a moment when he was getting a little dusty himself. What a weird nightmare. _Phew!_ Good thing they were all still here. Except for Mr Stark, of course. Peter really wished someone would explain where Mr Stark had gone.

But then suddenly that sparkly yellow portal appeared again and Dr Strange stepped through it and told them all to shut up before anyone had even said anything. He said that he was going to be transporting them all through zillions of miles of cosmic space so they had all better not do anything to break his concentration unless they wanted to end up as intergalactic popsicles. So everyone got really quiet and let the wizard do his thing.

And then before he knew it Peter was swinging through a magic portal and flipping out the other side to find himself on a bombed out battlefield. And everybody was there. Like, _every_ super person you could think of and plenty more he didn't even know. Peter desperately wished that he had his phone with him so he could snap a quick photo of himself in this awesome line up. But then Captain America was leading the charge and they were all running, running, running towards Thanos and his mutant space army. Peter caught a flash of lightning in the corner of his eye and looked over to see the God of Thunder, Thor himself wielding this crazy new battleaxe. But even being surrounded by all his childhood heroes and a huge bunch of bad guys trying to kill them, there was still only one thing that Peter could focus on.

He needed to find Mr Stark. He wanted to be fighting alongside Iron Man.

And in the first few minutes of the fight, Peter did find him. Actually he stopped a giant armored troll thing from stabbing him and then he pulled him up out of the rubble. Then Peter was just babbling with all that was left of his breath.

“Oh, holy cow…you will not believe what’s been going on. Do you remember when we were in space?”

While Peter chattered away Mr Stark was just staring at him. Staring with this weird but happy look on his face. And Peter was just starting to notice how different Mr Stark looked from earlier on that day. Like he had more lines under his eyes and more grey in his hair. And then suddenly Mr Stark was putting his arms around him and at first Peter thought that maybe he was going to do some cool battle combo move with their two nano-tech suits. But then it turned out that Mr Stark just wanted to hug him. So that was nice.

Then all in a rush...Peter remembered. He remembered that this wasn’t the first time that Mr Stark had held him. He remembered that terrible feeling that'd come over him, his spider sense warning him that something very bad was happening. And then Peter had felt his own fingers dissolving from his hands. And he’d tried to hold on, tried to hold himself together. Because Peter was strong. He was strong enough to fight the will of the universe for just a few seconds longer. Long enough to tell Mr Stark he was sorry.

But Peter couldn’t hold on forever. So then he had..._oh God_…had he died?

“Mr Stark…” Peter murmured, “...was it a bad dream or did I…?”

His question was interrupted by a sudden explosion on their left, a blast which shook the ground under their feet and sent them both stumbling sideways. Mr Stark kept them upright, still clasping hold of Peter’s shoulders. He held him at arm’s length.

“Afraid you’re going to have to hold that thought till after the fight, Pete. We’ll talk later, okay…when the world isn’t ending around us.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Sure. I’ll catch you later, sir.”

Mr Stark lingered one second longer. “Look at you,” he said, gently pressing his iron glove to Peter’s cheek. “Love you, kid...”

He said those last three words so softly Peter felt like he might've imagined them. And then Mr Stark was gone, his rockets shooting him up into the air so he could start blasting at some of those freaky flying turtle thingies. So Peter never got the chance to ask Mr Stark if he'd really held him while he died. He couldn't ask how he'd been brought back to life. He couldn't ask what this important thing was that Dr Strange was expecting him to do. There was at least a thousand things that Peter wanted to ask Mr Stark. But they'd all have to wait.

There was no time to even think in the heat of this battle. The next thing Peter knew he was catching Thanos’s gauntlet like a football after Black Panther hiked it into the air. Then he was shooting his web to catch hold of Thor’s hammer as it hurtled up into the sky. Then he was on the back of this winged white horse with his badass lady in shining armor. Then there was this fiery comet woman who came zipping down and took the gauntlet off him. Which meant that Peter could just go back to webbing up space monsters, thank God...

That was what Peter was doing when Mr Stark snapped his fingers and the world went white.

And then Thanos and all the other bad guys were the ones who were turning to dust. And then it was over. And they had won. And all Peter wanted to do was get to Mr Stark to tell him they had won and they could all go home now. Peter found Mr Stark sitting amidst the ruins of his compound. His mentor was pale and still with those stones all burnt up in his armor-plated hand. And already there were people stood around him crying. Because it was clear that Mr Stark was too badly hurt to even talk anymore. Peter wasn’t even sure if Mr Stark's eyes were seeing him anymore. And then just a few minutes later, Mr Stark’s suit confirmed that his heart wasn’t beating anymore.

And just like that it was over. Just like that he was gone.

Then Peter was lying on the ground once more. He was curling his knees into his chest and clamping his hands over his ears. When he was four years old he had lay like this on his living room carpet after the policeman had come to his house to tell him and his babysitter that his mommy and daddy weren’t ever coming home. Then at fourteen, Peter had lay like this in his bed for days after Uncle Ben had been shot dead by a shoplifter who he could’ve stopped with his powers. This was the only thing that Peter’s body knew to do when his heart hurt so bad.

Through a blur of tears, Peter watched as Cap, Thor, Hulk and Hawkeye came together to lift Mr Stark’s body and carry it away between them. Miss Potts and Rhodey clasped shoulders and held onto each other as they followed behind. As Peter stared after them, he was dully aware of people crouching down beside him. People gently shaking him, touching his head and trying to console him. And all that Peter could do was screw up his face and beg them to _please, please leave him alone_.

For a while they did leave Peter alone. He lost sense of how long.

But then there was a familiar figure standing over him.

“Get up…” said Dr Strange in that same indifferent tone he had used when waking Peter from his temporary death. “…I’ve volunteered to take you home, seeing as we both live in the city. So get on your feet...we’ll see about finding your aunt.”

Pete rose shakily into a sitting position.

“You knew…” he murmured, his words wavering.

“Excuse me?” Dr Strange asked.

“You saw the way we'd win this,” Peter clarified. “You knew what was going to happen to him.”

He sighed. “I knew what Stark would _choose_ to do given a very precise set of circumstances,” Dr Strange answered, carefully amending Peter’s phrasing. “I knew that he would sacrifice himself to save every other living being in the universe. And I knew that it was the only way…”

“You’re wrong!” Peter snapped.

Dr Strange gritted his teeth. “Listen kid, I’m not…”

“There was another way,” Peter insisted, holding up his hand. “This suit. _My suit._ It’s made from the same nano tech as Mr Stark’s suit was. So I...I could’ve done it. I could’ve been the one who got the stones and snapped my fingers. It could’ve been me instead of him!”

Dr Strange’s mouth became a tight line. He slowly shook his head.

“He’d have never let it be you...” he said.

Peter found there was nothing he could say to this. He hugged his knees into his chest.

“I...I don’t know what to do,” Peter said at last.

“Get up,” Dr Strange said again, this time offering Peter his hand. “Go home. He saved your life and now you need carry on living it. Do the best that you can with the gifts you've been given. That’s what Stark would have wanted from you. So that’s what you owe him. It’s what we all owe him.”

Peter reluctantly took Dr Strange’s hand and stumbled back onto his feet. Then the wizard was raising his arm again. He made another of his sparkling yellow portals leading back into New York. And blinking Peter saw that he’d opened up this portal at the Washington Square Park, the same place where he and Mr Stark had battled a giant space monster before they were taken up on that alien ship. It was the last place where they'd fought the bad guys, side by side, on their own home turf.

The last day when they had been superheroes together.


End file.
